A Parody for Carrot Juice

For sticklers, from a stickler for funny!

Carrot juice. Say that again. Carrot juice.

Uh, wait, no! Carrot and juice? Or juice and carrot?

The twist ain’t helping. There’s not a flick of sense yet.

Not a good combo

 Carrot and juice make a foggy impression together. It feels more like a hyped innovation.

The feel is like the first time you hear about fly by wire or financial engineering. Word combos that pull down frown lines on the face, leave your eyes squinting, eyebrows lowered or head turned in astonishment.

Now you have an idea of how carrot juice felt when it crossed my overthinking faculties, haha.

The honor of juice

Juice isn’t just a word you patch in front of any fruit or vegie, there’s an honor to juice.

Juice trickles, drips, oozes, bleeds out; with ease.

You bite, and juice oozes, effortlessly; tear open, and juice begins to trickle. The moment you chew; like a piece of cane, juice seeps from the fibers.

This is the essential character of juice. It’s the honor of juice, and carrot does not uphold it!

Try to cut open a carrot, you won’t get a drop of nothing.

Carrot was never meant to be anything but crunchy. The vegie was made for teeth to crush, for the tongue to savor it’s tasty extract and pass it down to the tummy.

But juice, ha! No.

Questioning stuff and going overboard

I’m an engineer, well, a student engineer, a Biosystems engineer. Yea, I could make juice from anything; even a hardy coconut shell, for sure! But carrot juice just caught me by surprise.

One most profound and perhaps outlandish thing I learnt from one of my Profs is to question stuff; take nothing for its face value. Problem is I think a lot. I go overboard.

I hear carrot juice, and boom, my mind goes, “Carrot juice? What? Carrots have juice (of course)? Then we can make juice out of anything! Acacia, nuts, beans or tilapia, maybe!?”

Dang!

I might be going overboard with this. But hey, it’s a good story. So why not?

Torture?

But seriously, I think they’re asking too much from carrots. Juice is an order too high; over the bar. Did you know that for a cup of carrot juice, you need nine medium sized carrots? Just for a cup!

This looks like waterboarding. Aren’t they torturing carrots, for something they hardly possess?

Did I just go overboard again?

Now, potato lovers, what do you say? Shouldn’t we make potato juice? I hear they understand assignments pretty well.

Maybe they’ll juice better than carrots.

DISCLAIMER: This was just meant to be funny. This blog is not a front for carrot rights.

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Have a good one!